Ali Lohan Will Regret This Decision

Dina Lohan showed up at Animal Fair magazine’s costume party last night with her favorite pet, daughter Ali. We normally feel nothing but apathy towards the mess of Lohans romping the earth, but there’s something undeniably sad and relatable about Ali dressing up like a sexy cat for Halloween.

The costume comes at the height of her awkward pubescent glory, and captures everything that is miserable about the American tweenage experience. Nothing says “I’m 14″ like an outfit that combines cute and horny. Plus, can you read her body language? Translation: “See my slouch? I hate life.”

We feel you, girlfriend. [Photo: GettyImages]

[Photo: GettyImages]

[Photo: GettyImages]

[Photo: FilmMagic]

[Photo: FilmMagic]

[Photo: GettyImages]

Lindsay Lohan isn’t just pissed that her father Michael won’t stop blogging up a storm and dissing her girlfriend Samantha Ronson - now the Mean Girls star fears for her safety. According to reports, Lilo is taking legal action to keep him far, far away from her. The New York Post reports that Lindsay is, “taking out an order of protection. He’s behaving so erratically that she’s terrified he’ll do something to her. She’s contacted her lawyer to arrange this.” Apparently, Lindsay isn’t the first one in the family to get a protective order against Michael. Lindsay’s sister Ali, “already has an order of protection against him, as does [mom] Dina. No one is speaking with him until he gets help.” Wow, this is one Effed Up Celebrity Family! [Source:New York Post; Photo:Getty]

A bunch of tabloids are sick of talking about the Brangelina twins and have focused their attention on another pair - Ali Lohan’s breasts. Nevermind that the kid is fourteen awkward years old, rags such as Us Weekly are encouraging us all to ponder if her tweenage titties are real or fake. Let’s take a minute to all shudder together. We may be nosy gossip hounds, but we are not pervs, nor are we interested in ruining this kid’s life any further - her mom has already done enough of that. No one escapes puberty unscathed, but Ali is basically f*cked from her life in the (horny) public eye. But you don’t need us to tell you, just listen to her big sister Lindsay! Check out what she wrote on her Myspace Celebrity blog - who knew LiLo knew big words like “disconcerting?!”

hey everyone..
i just had to share something that came up today and it made me feel a bit sick to my stomach.
so, here’s the visual…me and my friend Patrick walking into a store, and two paparazzi come up out of nowhere (like usual) and start throwing questions at me…one of them being, “Hey Lindsay, what do you have to say about people commenting on your sisters implants?”
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!my response simply was, “Did you really just ask me that? She is a 14 year old girl, and you are a pedophile!”i was caught out of nowhere so i didn’t really come up with the proper response at the time.. there’s many other things that i felt like saying, but why give it to a random guy with a camera so that he can make money!All i am trying to say is, is that, i was raised with a wonderful family surrounding me, of course we have our ups and downs, but all in all my mother taught us to appreciate what we have been given. Nor would she ever encourage, or allow a 14 year old child to alter her body.i am not judging people that do, but i am just saying that its not something that my family finds necessary to do, especially when you’re not even fully developed yet!It is hard enough being 14 years old and you have enough insecurities to begin with, then add being in the public eye… i just find it really disconcerting that people have to focus on the negative and that some people are sooooo bored with their own lives that they need to manifest lies to hurt another person.
in a more positive light…
i got some great clothes from alexander wang and i miss samantha cuz she’s out of town
have a wonderful day everyone~
til next time..
xx LL

[Photo: Getty Images]

Michael Lohan saw an opportunity to squeeze a little publicity out of the recent drama caused by Anderson Cooper - who insulted his 72-year old daughter Ali Lohan by calling her a “striptease person” - and released this statement: “I think Anderson Cooper is an opinionated, hypocritical idiot who should be an adult and keep his opinion to himself. He is the last person to judge anyone, when he and his own family have their own issues.”

Anderson is definitely a smug jerk with a f*cked family, but he’s also 100% right about Ali Lohan. Besides, the CNN star was just looking out for Ali, when he said she was “a 14-year-old girl, looks to be about 60… I say that with concern and love.” Judging from his relationship with eldest daughter Lindsay, it seems that that’s a lot more than Michael Lohan offers his kids. [DListed]

[Photo: Getty Images]

On last week’s episode of Living Lohan (a.k.a 101 Reasons Not to Let Your Kid Go Into Showbiz), the show’s tortured starlet, Ali Lohan, was seen auditioning for a horror flick in front of two old dude producers. Turns out our pals at TMZ have identified one of the men as Peter Davy, whose past work includes the tragic tale “Bun Busters 12″ and the uplifting “Breast Wishes 14.” Yep, Peter’s a porn producer.

The meeting was set up by Ali’s agent (nice one!) and Dina, of course, freaked the f*ck out. But doesn’t it pretty much sum up the future of Ali’s career? She should just get used to meeting with porn directors now, because that’s what she’ll be doing for the rest of her life - especially if her Mom’s management skills have anything to do with it. Until then, we’re waiting with baited breath for the first installment in the Loving Lohan series.