Some celebrities are famous the world over, have a legion of fans that follow their every move religiously, and an empire of merchandise advertising themselves. But that doesn’t mean these characters are any more compelling than the empty lunchboxes their faces are plastered all over. The Jonas Brothers, who’ve uttered about three words all year (they may have said more — but they’ve been drowned out by their shrieking fans) have about as much charisma as their live action figures, which is also true of fellow Disney factory product Selena Gomez. Gomez almost got interesting this year when Miley Cyrus mocked her milquetoast web videos, but that fire was quickly doused by Disney press releases. Jessica Alba scowled through ‘08, putting out two cinematic bombs and a baby, and only occasionally breaking into a smile. As for former O.C. star Rachel Bilson, it seems that even she bored of her wooden on-screen performances, and has started a fashion line with DKNY.
Jessica Alba attends the Democratic National Convention in Denver, Colorado on August 28, 2008. [Photo: Getty Images]
Jessica Alba filming on location for An Invisible Sign of My Own in Brooklyn, NY on November 7, 2008. [Photo: Getty Images]
Jessica Alba on the red carpet for "Keep A Child Alive 5th Annual Black Ball" in New York City. [Photo: Splash News Online]
Jessica Alba and her daughter Honor Marie Warren go shopping in New York City. [Photo: Splash News Online]
Jessica Alba attends the Kung Fu Panda screening held at Le Theatre Des Arts in Las Vegas, Nevada on March 11, 2008. [Photo: Getty Images]
Jessica Alba attends the 2008 Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards on March 29, 2008 in Westwood, California. [Photo: Getty Images]
The Jonas Brothers arrive at The City of Hope Benefit Concert on September 14, 2008 in Universal City, California. [Photo: Getty Images]
The Jonas Brothers visit MTV's TRL on August 11, 2008 in New York City. [Photo: Getty Images]
The Jonas Brothers attend a Verizon Wireless and Samsung Contest on August 27, 2008 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. [Photo: Getty Images]
The Jonas Brothers attend MTV's TRL on August 12, 2008 in New York City. [Photo: Getty Images]
The Jonas Brothers attend MTV's TRL on August 11, 2008 in New York City. [Photo: Getty Images]
The Jonas Brothers attend The 30th Anniversary Carousel Of Hope Ball on October 25, 2008 in Beverly Hills, California. [Photo: Getty Images]
Rachel Bilson arrives at Chanel's Launch of Highly Anticipated New Concept Boutique on May 29, 2008 in LA, California. [Photo: Getty Images]
Rachel Bilson attends the launch of her new collection, 'Edie Rose' for DKNY Jeans, at Macy's Herald Square in New York. [Photo: Splash News Online]
Rachel Billson launches her new jeans collection at Macy's on September 28, 2008 in Aventura, Florida. [Photo: Getty Images]
Rachel Billson launches her new jeans collection at Macy's on September 28, 2008 in Aventura, Florida. [Photo: Getty Images]
Rachel Bilson attends the premiere of Jumper at the Ziegfeld Theater on February 11, 2008 in New York City. [Photo: Getty Images]
Selena Gomez attends the Tinker Bell Premiere on October 19, 2008 in Hollywood, California. [Photo: Getty Images]
Selena Gomez attends Unicef's 2008 Trick-or-Treat campaign on October 23, 2008 in New York City. [Photo: Getty Images]
Selena Gomez arrives at the High School Musical 3: Senior Year Premiere on October 16, 2008 in Los Angeles, California. [Photo: Getty Images]
The next stop on Britney Spears‘ composed comeback tour: Rockefeller Center. The pop star will bring her Circus act to New York City’s famous tree lighting ceremony on December 3rd. “Details of her appearance are still being finalized, but she’s confirmed to appear,” Life & Style reveals. Britney will join a star-studded line-up including Beyonce, Faith Hill, the Jonas Brothers, David Cook, Harry Connick, Jr, Tony Bennett, and Rascal Flatts. Just another boring day for Brit. [Source: Life and Style; Photo: Getty]
While it’s a shame that Joe Jonas and Taylor Swift didn’t work out, we’re guessing that Joe will be kinder to his new honey, When A Stranger Calls star Camilla Belle. According to Us Magazine, the pair met on the set of the JoBros’ upcoming “LoveBug” video, and have been dating on the low ever since.
“They are not public about it, but they’ve been hanging out with their friends and Joe’s brothers,” says the magazine’s source. “They’re very private.” You would be to if you were dating your clone! All that distinguishes their faces is her quality make-over. The pair reportedly celebrated Halloween together—maybe next year they can be each other, if not the Wonder Twins.
Check out the gallery for shots of the couple. Their baby would look like Zachary Quinto squared.
Joe Jonas. Stud. [Photo: Getty Images]
Camilla Belle. Hottie. [Photo: WireImage]
Joe Jonas and Camilla Belle on the set of the JoBros' "LoveBug" video. Despite their costumes and haircuts, the clone bond is strong. [Photo: Getty Images]
Joe Jonas sees a man in a wheelchair fall down a flight of stairs. [Photo: Getty Images]
Camilla Belle, or possibly a Jackie O doll. [Photo: WireImage]
The Jonas Brothers. Joe is wearing a white tie to signify that he is tonight's designated driver. [Photo: WireImage]
Camilla Belle and Robert Pattinson of Twilight at the Hollywood Film Awards last month. His eyebrows were found lacking. [Photo: WireImage]
Country cutie Taylor Swift just proved she’s more than just a pretty face with great pipes — she’s also a quick wit. In a MySpace video she made specifically to show the world what a few days in her life is like, Swift cleverly disses ex-boyfriend Joe Jonas. Swift, who reportedly was dumped by Jonas over the phone, holds up a doll of the middle Jo-Bro, and addresses why the doll comes with a phone. She then holds up a Taylor Swift doll and implores it to “stay away from him.” Watch the claws come out at the 4:20 mark!
Desperate to discover how the Jonas Brothers are going to age? Allow Gaston Duprat, Mariano Cohn and Marcello Prayer to help you out. The two directors (Duprat, Cohn) and actor (Prayer) attended the Rome Festival today, looking eerily like America’s favorite brothers, circa 2028. Screaming, drooling girls - beware! [Photo: GettyImages]
What, you thought nothing could surpass the cinematic excellence of films like Schindler’s List and Platoon? Then you don’t know the Jonas Brothers, my ignorant friends. The trio of bushy-browed virgins are banding together to flaunt their acting chops in the family-friendly, gag-inducing flick, Walter the Farting Dog. The brahs will play musicians - an obvious stretch - who help their parents take care of the gassy pup after its owner passes away. Director and fellow famous brother, Peter Farrelly, described a hilarious scene from the flick: “By the time they’ve driven the dog home, everybody’s head is out the window of the family station wagon but Frankie, and only because he has a serious sinus problem and doesn’t notice the stench coming from Walter.”
He does not elaborate as to which Jonas is playing Frankie, but does it matter? They all generally look like the same robot, just with varying emo haircuts. Naturally, we smell a hit. [Photo: GettyImages]
So Joe Jonas, the nineteen year old “eyebrows” Jonas Brother, kicked his angelic girlfriend to the curb. Poor little country star Taylor Swift is reportedly heartbroken, and who wouldn’t be if you were eighteen and the most popular virgin in America didn’t want to heavy pet you anymore. But here’s where it gets worse! Joe, who reportedly dated Taylor for “several months” did the deed over the phone, which is the sh*ttiest, shadiest, lamest, safest, smartest, most awesome way to dump someone, ever. We hope that Joe at least found inspiration for the break up in his lyrics (cue dream sequence music and lighting):
Joe: Hold on tight, it’s a roller coaster ride we’re on so say goodbye, cause I won’t be back again. Up and down you’re all around, say goodnight and goodbye.
Taylor: You’re dumping me? What the fudge are you talkin’ bout?
Joe: Well girl, I’m sorry for disappointing you, but I’m done with being up and down and pushed around. No more.
Taylor: But we had so much fun making out during Toy Story the other night!
Joe: Er, wait a second. Ah, here we go: I can’t get your smile out of my mind. I think bout your eyes all the time. Beautiful but you don’t even try.
Taylor: I thought you said you were dumping me?!
Joe: Oops, wrong song. I got confused, that one’s for that blond chick from Gossip Girl.
The Jonas Brothers, like most young men, are an excitable lot. And, based in this video from On Air With Ryan Seacrest, nothing excites them more than Britney Spears songs and clothes. Because they’re actually young girls.
While the Bros can’t confirm the rumor that they’re collaborating with Spears, Nick says it would be “an honor” to work with a singer who’s “a legend at this point.” Kevin’s favorite song of hers is “Toxic,” while Joe sticks with earlier hits like “…Baby One More Time.” Naturally.
There’s no interband friction when it comes to creating a fashion line, though. “[We] definitely would be loving to do that,” says Kevin. “We’re huge fans of clothing, and things like that.”
Joe provides a slightly more specific response, suggesting they’d love “give it a try” to work with “some of [our] favorite designers, like Jay Lindenberg or Marc Jacobs…or Ralph Lauren!”
Hey, why don’t you guys try out for Project Runway next year! You sound like you belong on the Lifetime network more than Disney anyway. [via ONTD]
Two nights ago, we saw Senator Barack Obama surprise his daughters via satellite at the DNC. Malia and Sasha did a great job hiding their disappointment! The girls acted thrilled and lovingly towards dear old Dad while in the spotlight, but there may have been a little pouting backstage. Apparently, when Michelle told them to expect a surprise, they thought it may be the subject of the posters plastered on their bedroom walls, The Jonas Brothers. The following afternoon, Michelle told supporters: “In the end she felt that Daddy was a decent second choice.” [Source: CNN; Photo: Getty Images]
Despite the fact that the Jonas Brothers generate a lot of heat just being themselves, when they showed up yesterday to unveil their newly-sculpted wax alter egos at Madame Tussauds in Washington D.C., the only things melting were the fans. The figures were created to coincide with the release of the trio’s new album, Burnin’ Up and the fans showed up in droves to hug, cry on and flip out over them. In the gallery below, Nick Jonas gets all the love, while Joe Jonas poses politely and silently chastises his wax self for over-conditioning. [Photo: Getty Images]
The Jonas Brothers' Joe Jonas poses with his wax figure at Madame Tussauds on Aug. 18 in Washington, DC. [Photo: Getty Images]
Maddy Pomilla, age 14 from Huntingtown, MD, hugs a wax figure of Nick Jonas of the Jonas Brothers at Madame Tussauds on Aug. 18 in Washington, DC. [Photo: Getty Images]
Kristen Warlitner, age 13 from Huntingtown, MD, kisses the wax figure of Nick Jonas at Madame Tussauds on Aug. 18 in Washington, DC. [Photo: Getty Images]
The Jonas Brothers pose with his wax figures at Madame Tussauds on Aug. 18 in Washington, DC. [Photo: Getty Images]
The Jonas Brothers meet their wax figures at Madame Tussauds on Aug. 18 in Washington, DC. [Photo: Getty Images]
Jessica Alba attends the Democratic National Convention in Denver, Colorado on August 28, 2008. [Photo: Getty Images]
Jessica Alba filming on location for An Invisible Sign of My Own in Brooklyn, NY on November 7, 2008. [Photo: Getty Images]
Jessica Alba on the red carpet for "Keep A Child Alive 5th Annual Black Ball" in New York City. [Photo: Splash News Online]
Jessica Alba and her daughter Honor Marie Warren go shopping in New York City. [Photo: Splash News Online]
Jessica Alba attends the Kung Fu Panda screening held at Le Theatre Des Arts in Las Vegas, Nevada on March 11, 2008. [Photo: Getty Images]
Jessica Alba attends the 2008 Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards on March 29, 2008 in Westwood, California. [Photo: Getty Images]
The Jonas Brothers arrive at The City of Hope Benefit Concert on September 14, 2008 in Universal City, California. [Photo: Getty Images]
The Jonas Brothers visit MTV's TRL on August 11, 2008 in New York City. [Photo: Getty Images]
The Jonas Brothers attend a Verizon Wireless and Samsung Contest on August 27, 2008 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. [Photo: Getty Images]
The Jonas Brothers attend MTV's TRL on August 12, 2008 in New York City. [Photo: Getty Images]
The Jonas Brothers attend MTV's TRL on August 11, 2008 in New York City. [Photo: Getty Images]
The Jonas Brothers attend The 30th Anniversary Carousel Of Hope Ball on October 25, 2008 in Beverly Hills, California. [Photo: Getty Images]
Rachel Bilson arrives at Chanel's Launch of Highly Anticipated New Concept Boutique on May 29, 2008 in LA, California. [Photo: Getty Images]
Rachel Bilson attends the launch of her new collection, 'Edie Rose' for DKNY Jeans, at Macy's Herald Square in New York. [Photo: Splash News Online]
Rachel Billson launches her new jeans collection at Macy's on September 28, 2008 in Aventura, Florida. [Photo: Getty Images]
Rachel Billson launches her new jeans collection at Macy's on September 28, 2008 in Aventura, Florida. [Photo: Getty Images]
Rachel Bilson attends the premiere of Jumper at the Ziegfeld Theater on February 11, 2008 in New York City. [Photo: Getty Images]
Selena Gomez attends the Tinker Bell Premiere on October 19, 2008 in Hollywood, California. [Photo: Getty Images]
Selena Gomez attends Unicef's 2008 Trick-or-Treat campaign on October 23, 2008 in New York City. [Photo: Getty Images]
Selena Gomez arrives at the High School Musical 3: Senior Year Premiere on October 16, 2008 in Los Angeles, California. [Photo: Getty Images]
