Whiniest Celebrity Prisoners

Whenever celebrities get sent to the slammer, they are just chock full of complaints! Stars whine about everything from bad food to claustrophobic rooms to blood-stained blankets. Incarcerated celebrities can’t stand to be away from the 5 star necessities like spacious terraces, gourmet cuisine, and cashmere throws to which they are accustomed. But that’s why it’s called prison and not the Beverly Hills Hotel! Check out Scandalist’s Whiniest Celebrity Prisoners… [Photo:Getty]
Will Smith’s Marriage Secret: Deny Divorce!

Denial is something that’s fallen out of fashion these days, hasn’t it? What with all celebrities in therapy being encouraged to be “honest” and “share” their problems and neuroses, no-one sticks hands in their ears and goes “La la la la la!” Which we think is a shame. So big snaps to Will Smith, who has revealed his secret behind a long marriage to Jada Pinkett Smith. Put simply, it’s that they can’t break up.
“The truth about life is that we’re all alone. Love is the only real connective tissue that allows you to not live and die by yourself. The secret is removing divorce as an option. Anyone who gives themselves that option will get a divorce,” he told Essence magazine.
We like this approach and think more celebrities should take it on. Paris Hilton should remove partying as an option. Peaches Geldof should remove writing as an option. And Michael Lohan should remove speaking as an option. See, it’s already made the world a better place. Congrats, Will and Jada!
[Photo: WireImage]
Paris’ Eye Distracts From Slutty Outfit

Paris Hilton showed up at the premiere of her new, uh, movie, looking as slut-fabulous as usual. She really went all out - luxurious plastic locks, fishnets, a shimmery dress the size of a wrist band and of course, badass leather gloves. But we were barely able to appreciate her effort, as her wonky eye hogged the spotlight. We weren’t really believers in her legendary wonk eye before, but there seems to be no denying its gloriously small, lazy existence.
For more of Paris’ hot look, feast your non-screwy eyes on the pics below. [Photo: WireImage]
Holly Madison And Criss Angel Keep It Hot

Holly Madison and Criss Angel are still going strong after their debut as a couple on the red carpet last weekend. Holly and Criss smooched while hanging out at Las Vegas nightclub Prive after the premiere of Repo: The Genetic Opera, starring Miss Paris Hilton. Holly and Criss had some competition for hottest couple. Paris brought along boyfriend Benji Madden to walk the red carpet with her. Check out our gallery of the premiere! [Photos: Getty]
Paris Hilton Unconvincingly Tries Victim Line Again

About once a year, Paris Hilton seems to make a half-assed attempt to insist that she is a misunderstood, gentle, delicate flower, and the image of her as a vacuous, superficial talentless party girl is UNTRUE (just because she spends 85% of her life pouting and dancing on tables doesn’t mean she isn’t really really INTELLIGENT and DEEP, you know!)
And here we are again. Now Paris has “revealed” to a newspaper that like, she’s totally like, been used by mean guys, and like, all she really wants to do is get married and have kids.
“Every other guy I’ve been out with has used me for money or sex — but in most cases they just want fame. It made it hard to trust people,” she told the News of the World. “After a while I had to start questioning exactly why somebody wanted to be with me. And that made things really difficult … I’d love to start a family in the next year. And I want to get married before we have kids. I want three or four.”
Our heart bleeds for poor Paris — but didn’t she threaten promise to have kids years ago? And we’re sure that she wouldn’t embark on having a family before she completes that charity mission to Rwanda . We wouldn’t think any less of you, love. [Photo: Splash News Online]
Britney, Lindsay, Paris To Star In New HBO Sitcom?

Could this be the best new show ever? Conversely, it could be the worst, but we would watch every delicious second anyway. Various media outlets are reporting that Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears are in talks to star in their very own sitcom together. It appears that HBO wants to sign up the superstar threesome as roommates trying to make it big in Hollywood. Very far away from their reality, obvs.
“The chemistry between them will be electric. They were very close and have had their ups and downs in the Los Angeles party world but they have overcome those problems now.They can draw from their experiences for the sitcom,” reports MTV UK.
What would it be called? The Vag Pack? BFFriends? The mind just boggles. To be honest, it seems pretty far fetched but sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction. Do it, ladies! [Photo: WireImage]
Spotted
Why Paris Hilton Will Never Be A Presenter (Here’s Hoping)
Continuing her threat to never leave the UK, Paris Hilton was on primetime TV last night, presenting a gong at the National Television Awards ceremony. And dear GOD, we hope she doesn’t repeat the horror. Wearing a lovely sparkly dress, all was well until she opened her mouth and tried to speak naturally.
“London’s my favourite city in the whole world. I’ve been here for the past couple of months finding my British best friend, so I’ll probably be on this stage next year accepting an award,” she said, to universal sniggers and open-mouthed disbelief.
Stiff as an ironing board, she then posed awkwardly while trying to read out a list of programs she’d clearly never heard of. Nice effort, love, but we can’t see Cat Deeley worrying about the competition just yet.
Paris Hilton - Now On Sale, 50% Cheaper!

Paris Hilton is STILL in London and STILL doing the rounds of clubs every fricking night, leading to the ever-more-tedious shots of her doing that imperious pout she does so well. But there is a silver lining, which is that she’s not raking in the obscene amounts of money she was previously just for turning up and pouting away.
“Paris demanded £50,000 from Paper nightclub. They were prepared to pay — but on the condition that she turn up twice, not go anywhere else before or after that evening, and stay for a minimum of two hours. But she didn’t want to adhere to all the conditions so the club cancelled her appearance. Whisky Mist also refused to pay. But she went there anyway because there was a chance that she would bump into royalty — and she did in the end. The only club that paid her was Movida, and that was £25k,” a friend told the London Lite paper.
Ha-HA! The credit crunch has (almost) hit Paris! Maybe this is karmic payback for professing ignorance about the financial meltdown in the first place. [Photo: Splash News Online]












