Will Gwyneth Dump Chris When Coldplay Breaks Up?

Gwyneth Paltrow is apparently doing everything in her power to convince tabloids that she is this close to dumping her husband Chris Martin, lead singer of Coldplay. She’s doing the usual stuff that most women do to signal a marriage is over: filming a reality show in Spain with fat chef Mario Batali, chilling in Miami for the Victoria’s Secret fashion show, and hanging out with billionaire hotelier Jeff Soffer. “Gwyneth doesn’t have anything to do with Victoria’s Secret,” hissed one envious spy. “If things were so great with Chris, why wouldn’t she be with him?” Another added, “she certainly didn’t act like a happily married woman.”

Wow ladies, jealous much? If Gwynnie is thinking of leaving her British hubby, we’d suggest she time the split to happen when he ends things with his band. Chris told the Daily Express that Coldplay is trying to cram as much playing into 2009, as he’s not interested in turning out snoozey hits much longer. “I’m 31 now and I don’t think that bands should keep going past 33,” he said.

Neither should marriages, Chris! [NME. NYP. Photo: GettyImages]

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With her insane working out schedule and macrobiotic diet, Gwyneth Paltrow looks fierce and totally deserves it. Clearly, hanging around with a wife who could crack nuts between those rock-hard thighs has rubbed off a bit negatively on Coldplay singer Chris Martin. The poor little lamb reckons he’s looking porky at the moment, despite boasting a physique that could be called skinny, at best.

“There’s a little bit of fat on me and I realized today, during the encore, I could see the big screen and it adds love handles!” Chris told British radio station Absolute about his current tour. “This is a tip for anyone who’s playing an arena; don’t let yourself see the screens while you’re playing”.

Awww, diddums. Couldn’t you get Gwynnie to knock you up a delicious lentil and quinoa snack while burning off that extra poundage? — Becky Howard

[Response Source; Photo: Getty Images]