Britney: Marrying K-Fed Was A Bad Idea

Britney Spears has just now figured out that hindsight really is 20/20. A new teaser from her upcoming MTV documentary reveals that Brit’s now all “oops!” when it comes to her marriage to Kevin Federline. If only she had been able to smell a loser back in 2004, we could have avoided this whole mess. Alas, clarity just wasn’t in the stars for our screwed up songbird.

“I think I married for the wrong reasons,” Britney said of her two-year marriage to K-Fed. “Instead of following my heart and, like, doing something that made me really happy, I just did it for the sake of the idea of everything.”

While we have no idea what she’s talking about, she never did claim to be a philosopher, just a pop star hungry for Cheetos, Mercedes, and dead-beat stoners. We’re relieved her ‘everything’ is now tightly controlled by her dad. If Britney’s bad judgement doesn’t keep the losers out, Papa Spears will!  [Us. Photo: FilmMagic]

2008 was full of fresh celebrity faces. Blake Lively busted out as the sexy star of the hit show Gossip Girl. Hugh Hefner traded in 28-year-old Holly Madison for a brand new set of blonde girlfriends, 19-year-old twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon. John McCain picked more than a running mate when he tapped Sarah Palin as his vice-presidential nominee; he provided a colorful new character for 2008 who fueled tabloid covers, Saturday Night Live skits, and even a porno called Nalin’ Palin.

Although she’s generated headlines for a decade, a post-rehab and post-headshaving Britney Spears debuted a new, fresh persona, complete with a parental conservatorship, a new schedule that replaced nightclubbing with philanthropic visits, a composed VMA appearance, and a new album aptly titled Circus.

Karissa and Kristina Shannon. [Photo: MySpace]

Karissa and Kristina Shannon. [Photo: MySpace]

Karissa and Kristina Shannon. [Photo: MySpace]

Karissa and Kristina Shannon. [Photo: Getty Images]

Karissa and Kristina Shannon. [Photo: MySpace]

Blake Lively attends the premiere of The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants 2 on July 28, 2008 in New York City. [Photo: Getty Images]

Blake Lively attends a Gossip Girl premiere on August 16, 2008 in Sag Harbor, New York. [Photo: Getty Images]

Blake Lively attends Fashion Week at Bryant Park Hotel on September 10, 2008 in New York City. [Photo: Getty Images]

Blake Lively attends the Late Show with David Letterman. [Photo: Getty Images]

Blake Lively attends the Late Show with David Letterman. [Photo: Getty Images]

Britney Spears attends the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards on September 7, 2008 in Los Angeles, California. [Photo: Getty Images]

Britney Spears attends a viewing of 'In the Heights' on September 30, 2008 in New York City. [Photo: Getty Images]

Britney Spears attends the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards on September 7, 2008 in Los Angeles, California. [Photo: Getty Images]

Britney Spears attends an event on July 19, 2008 in Los Angeles, California. [Photo: Getty Images]

Sarah Palin attends a rally at St. Louis University's Chaifetz Arena in St. Louis, Missouri on October 02, 2008. [Photo: Getty Images]

Sarah Palin at the vice presidential debate on October 2, 2008 at Washington University in St. Louis, Missouri. [Photo: Getty Images]

Sarah Palin. [Photo: Getty Images]

Sarah Palin lookalike and adult star Lisa Ann shooting "Who's Nailin Paylin." A hardcore porn movie for Hustler spoofing the vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin. [Photo: Splash News Online]

Kim Kardashian wants to ruin her perfectly good relationship with Reggie Bush. Kim revealed that when she and Reggie eventually tie the knot, a Newlyweds type reality show is a definite possibility. “We get asked that all the time,” Kim said while on vacation in Miami with her main man. “We’re definitely headed in that direction, so you never know.”

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Beyonce unleashes her alter ego Sasha Fierce upon the world today with her brand new album, I Am…Sasha Fierce. But Beyonce’s not the only pop star with a split personality — from Mariah to Britney to Janet, many of pop’s hottest ladies have developed characters they slide in and out of. Beyonce says Sasha comes out when Beyonce needs protection, but from all the photographic evidence we’ve seen, it seems she comes out when Bey wants to look her hottest. Find out which of your favorite pop stars make crazy look sexy.

Beyonce unleashes alter ego Sasha Fierce on her latest "self" titled album. “[She] is the fun, more sensual, more aggressive, more outspoken side and more glamorous side that comes out when I’m working and when I’m on the stage.” [Photo: Getty Images]

Christina Aguilera renamed herself Baby Jane to announce a tour of jazz clubs with her "Back to Basics" album. "I can't tell you why," she giggled to MTV. Thanks for nothing. [Photo: ChristinaAguilera.com]

Sure, it looks like Britney has gone nuts. But don't blame her. Blame Mona Lisa. She told TRL she takes on the Lisa persona "whenever I feel like being mean." [Photo: BritneySpears.com]

Mariah Carey describes her alter ago Mimi as her "fun side, the real me." Her “Emancipation of Mimi” album re-established her as R&B queen. [Photo: Getty Images]

Ashlee Simpson created Vicky Valentine for her last album, "Bittersweet World." At least we know who to blame for that! [Photo: AshleeSimpsonMusic.com]

Janet Jackson named album No. 8 after her middle names and said it reflected "the many personalities living inside" her. Released after her Super Bowl boo-boo, it flopped. [Photo: Publicity]

Madonna is usually known as The Material Girl and The Material Mom. After embracing the Kabbalah "religion," she insisted on being known by her Hebrew name Esther. [Photo: Getty Images]

TLC's Lisa Lopes was known as "Left Eye." When Lopes went solo after “FanMail,” she recorded as N.I.N.A., aka New Identity Not Applicable. [Photo: Getty Images]

First clips from Britney’s much-anticipated new documentary have leaked — and it seems not all is well in the world of the comeback pop princess. (Well, maybe it was too much to assume that a hot new body and decent stylist could sort out all her problems, but hey, we were hoping). As reported by the UK’s Sun newspaper and Heat magazine, Britters feels like a bored prisoner in her new, non-off-her-face life.

“There’s no excitement, there’s no passion. I have really good days, and then I have bad days. Even when you go to jail you know there’s the time when you’re gonna get out. But in this situation, it’s never ending. It’s just like Groundhog Day every day,” she said on her one-off docu, For The Record. “I think it’s too in control. If I wasn’t under the restraints I’m under, I’d feel so liberated. When I tell them the way I feel, it’s like they hear but they’re really not listening. If you do something wrong in your work, you can move on, but I’m having to pay for a long time. I never wanted to become one of those prisoner people. I always wanted to feel free.”

Poor Brit. We know it’s hard when Poppa Spears has control of your fortune, and you keep getting airbrushed to look like a Norweigan disco diva. But hang in there — maybe you’ll soon meet your very own Andie MacDowell and break out of the Groundhog nightmare. And if it was actually Andie MacDowell that set you free, that would be even more exciting.

[Photo: FilmMagic]

Wow — look at this gorgeous pop vixen! Who could it be? On first glance we thought Katy Perry must have dyed her hair. Then we thought it must be one of those tall, leggy Nordic Europop artists that no-one knows the names of. One person we didn’t think it could possibly be was Britney Spears, in a new promotional shot for her album Circus.

No offense, Brit-Brit. Although we’ve championed your recovery with the best of them, and are delighted to see you back on the global pop stage, the fact is that this looks nothing like you. Surely if Kate Winslet gets accused of getting friendly with an airbrush for her Vanity Fair bum-shot, then the person in charge of this shot must have taken the airbrush out on a few dates, got it drunk, kidnapped it and forcefully married it. (We think our metaphors may have got a little mixed here, but hopefully you get what we mean.)

[Photo: SonyBMG]

Hey, we kind of knew he wouldn’t stay quiet for long. Kanye West has blasted the results of last week’s EMA awards, reckoning they were fixed. Yes, the hip-hop superstar who proved he was nothing if not a sore loser when he stormed the stage at the 2006 awards complaining that he didn’t win Best Video, is now complaining at the choice of winners at this years’ awards.

“Britney Spears over Rihanna? Are you serious? I mean f****** Jared Leto? He’s my boy but he shouldn’t have won over some of those other artists. I won nothing last year and I’d brought out “Stronger.” Then this year, just because I was there, I won best urban act. This was L’il Wayne’s year.”

Ok, we see his point about 30 Seconds To Mars. We may have mentioned something about that ourselves. And we love the fact that Kanye is the opposite of a bland, media-trained singer. But you know, it’s only a little award — it doesn’t mean anything, love!

[Source; The Sun, Photo: WireImage]

Deep breaths, everyone! Britney Spears’ son Jayden was hospitalized yesterday, but the kid is going to be fine. The poor little guy had a severe allergic reaction to something (Cheetos?) he ate, and amazingly it wasn’t his mama’s fault. Or was it?

This was the first time Brit’s been able to take the boys out of California since Kevin was granted full custody, and she somehow managed to screw it up. A source close to the star and her ex alleges that Kevin will “want a full accounting of the menu on Sunday.” Shouldn’t he know it was a Starbucks n’ Marlboro casserole?  [Photo: FilmMagic]

OMG! Little Jayden James Federline was apparently rushed to the hospital after falling ill during a family vacation to the singer’s Louisiana hometown. The little guy inexplicably suffered a seizure yesterday afternoon, and the entire Spears clan hauled ass to the hospital where JJ was treated. Poor BritBrit was supposedly so distraught she refused to leave his room and requested a bed so she could sleep beside him.

This is the first time Brit’s been allowed to travel with her boys since all her custody regulations fell into place, and the poor girl can’t seem to catch a break. Her ex is even jetting down south to join her at JJ’s tiny bedside, where they’ll surely reminisce awkwardly about the fam’s last trip to the hospital. Let’s hope Jayden makes it out faster than his mama did.  [Photo: Splash News Online]

Ahhh, now we get it. Britney won two awards at last night’s MTV EMA awards but declined to attend - because she turned up on stage with Madonna last night. Wearing an incredibly modest white shirt and black trousers (was she on her way to a job interview?) Brit wowed the crowd when she opened Madge’s show at the Dodgers Stadium in L.A., singing Human Nature. Following hot on her heels was ex-BF Justin Timberlake, who rocked up later on in the show to perform 4 Minutes. Disappointingly, they didn’t fall into each others arms and realise they are still meant to be together - according to reports they didn’t even cross paths. One day, Britney and Justin, you’ll mend our broken hearts. One day…

Anyway, we forgive Brit for her Liverpool snub now. Duetting with one of the biggest megastars ever as part of your successful career rejuvenation, or sharing the stage with Tokio Hotel? It’s OK Britney, we’d do the same!

[Photo: FilmMagic]

Hi, y'all! [Photo: Getty Images]

Britney laughs at the irony of holding someone else up. [Photo: Film Magic]

Next On Maury: "My Mom's Too Sexy!" [Photo: Getty Images]

Carrie Underwood and Hedwig do the time warp again. [Photo: Getty Images]

Can you tell which ass belongs to the middle aged mother of three, and which belongs to the twenty-something sexpot? [Photo: Getty Images]