Douchiest Of ‘08: Vote Now!

While numerous celebrities vied to be nominated for this category, only four Hollywood mainstays went above and beyond the “call of douchey.” First up is Miley Cyrus, who tarnished her successful rise with her controversial topless Vanity Fair picture, for which she later apologized. The Hannah Montana star also ticked off tween fans with her YouTube video mocking fellow pubescent starlets Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez, and caused some drama when she supposedly attempted to get fired from her hit show. Next in line is paparazzo Adnan Ghalib, whose landing strip facial hair and British accent inexplicably wooed troubled singer Britney Spears. The photog (who was married at the time) squeezed every last bit of D-List fame out of their relationship, granting interviews, showing off text messages from the star, and even attempting to sell a sex tape of the two of them bangin’.

We can’t forget Michael Lohan for his constant blabbing to the press about his rehabbing daughter Lindsay Lohan. Whether it’s about her mother, acting career, or rumored girlfriend Sam Ronson, Michael always has an opinion he’s willing to share — with everyone. Finally, we have Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, better known as the horrific Hills hybrid Speidi. This desperate duo turns every mundane activity into a blatantly staged photo op, and their pathetic attention addiction takes fame-whoring to a whole new (low) level. Check the photos of each nominee, then vote for the Douchiest.

Miley Cyrus on September 14, 2008 in Los Angeles, California. [Photo: Getty Images]

Miley Cyrus cheers for Justin Gaston at the Christian Audigier 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week on October 15, 2008 in Culver City, California. [Photo: Getty Images]

Miley Cyrus [Photo: Getty Images]

Miley Cyrus [Photo: Getty Images]

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt aka Speidi. [Photo: Getty Images]

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt aka Speidi. [Photo: Getty Images]

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt aka Speidi. [Photo: Getty Images]

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt aka Speidi. [Photo: Getty Images]

Adnan Ghalib. [Photo: Getty Images]

Adnan Ghalib. [Photo: Splash News Online]

Adnan Ghalib. [Photo: Splash News Online]

Michael Lohan. [Photo: Getty Images]

Michael Lohan. [Photo: Getty Images]

For all the crap Scandalist gives Michael Lohan, we have to commend him for finally using his attention whore powers for good. Bob Venero, president of Future Tech Enterprise, will give $30,000 to Fight For Charity for the privilege of pummeling LiLo’s estranged father in a boxing match on Nov. 24. Stephen Baldwin—the Baldwin brother that made Bio-Dome, found Jesus at the bottom of a bottle and now fights pornography’s “cultural terrorism”—will judge at the event, to be held at the Hilton Long Island. Go Ivan Drago on his ass, Venero! You must break him!

[Photo: Getty Images]

Yep, that always works! The Lohans horrendous feud is playing out as publicly as possible (that’ll help your career Linds!) in the pages of the New York Post, much to our reading pleasure. In a desperate attempt to win his daughter’s love back, Michael Lohan is thoroughly and fiercely bashing her lover, Samantha Ronson. Apparently he’s learned all about parenting skills from Alec Baldwin and Jon Voight. His loving rant includes calling Sam “dark, hideous and a disgusting representation of humanity.” Wow, Mikey, WTF did she do to you? Not take your request for Len’s “Steal My Sunshine” at that party she was DJing one time? Get over it - your daughter is now sticking her nose is Sam’s pants as opposed to a pile of coke, and that is an awesome, awesome thing.

Lindsay’s response via email is another glorious example (alongside her MySpace blog) of why she should drop the acting gig and pick up the pen.

“My father obviously needs to be on medication to control his moods. He is out of line and his words show how much anger he has, and it’s dangerous and scary as it reminds me of how he treated my mother and I my whole childhood. He needs to be stopped. This is yet another reason why we aren’t speaking. I am in a great place in life. I have overcome a lot and have been able to learn how to enjoy and appreciate my life in every way possible. I’m proud of myself for being able to make a change in the past year and a half.
My past is behind me, and that’s final. There’s nothing more to be said. All the false accusations that people try to make are simply because there’s no story when things are calm and good. But they might as well let it go because their lies don’t affect me anymore. Samantha is not evil, I care for her very much and she’s a wonderful girl. She loves me, as I do her.”

Lindsay Lohan, FTW!  [NYP. Image: WireImage]

So this Lindsay Lohan-Michael Lohan-Samantha Ronson feud thing. Yesterday, the story was that Ronson was writing a tell-all book about her life with Lindsay, Papa Lohan threw a hissy fit and talked about how Sam was using his kid, and Lindsay rebutted by telling him to butt out. We’re all caught up, right? Not quite. Ronson posted her side of the story on her MySpace blog last night to clear things up once and for all, unless Papa gets ants in his pants again and feels the need to make another public statement. In her post she denies that there will ever be a book — sort of a relief anyway (let’s leave the writing to the English majors):

“i really don’t want to say anything because i feel like he wins- he, being the man who is so desperate for attention that he goes to the media whenever possible- i know i am being used, i am just a pawn- easy to sacrifice in order to feed his addiction. I was angry when i first read his attack on me, but- for me- i believe that actions speak louder than words… so now i just pity him- i am not standing in his way- i am not the reason that he has no contact with his daughter- he is- his need to throw a tantrum for the whole world to hear is- i am not going to go into a play by play defense- i feel no need to publicly defend my role in lindsay’s life- i’m just sorry that she likes me more than him.”

p.s. i’m not the one that is so lost that i need to use my relationship with lindsay to earn a living…. i am, always will and always have been here for her for her- not for anything else….so I think it’s safe to say that there is not now and never will be a tell all….. written by me….. when does your book come out mr. lohan?”

It’s funny, the more the press pays attention to Ronson, the more awesome she seems. Too bad the same can’t be said about Mr. Lohan. [Photo: WireImage]

Why does Daddy Lohan always do things backwards? First he confirms to the media that he has popped the question to girlfriend Erin Muller, then Lindsay finds out, then Erin gets a ring. “We picked out a ring, but it’s not official,” Michael Lohan told E! News.  Michael, 48, and his 24-year-old fiancé will reportedly make their engagement official after “some family issues are resolved.”  Will Lindsay and Sam attend the nuptials? What about mom Dina and little sister Ali? Maybe their family issues will get “resolved” and they will all show up as one big happy family to Ali’s first movie premiere a la Demi, Bruce and Ashton. [Source: E! News][Photo:Getty]

Michael Lohan saw an opportunity to squeeze a little publicity out of the recent drama caused by Anderson Cooper - who insulted his 72-year old daughter Ali Lohan by calling her a “striptease person” - and released this statement: “I think Anderson Cooper is an opinionated, hypocritical idiot who should be an adult and keep his opinion to himself. He is the last person to judge anyone, when he and his own family have their own issues.”

Anderson is definitely a smug jerk with a f*cked family, but he’s also 100% right about Ali Lohan. Besides, the CNN star was just looking out for Ali, when he said she was “a 14-year-old girl, looks to be about 60… I say that with concern and love.” Judging from his relationship with eldest daughter Lindsay, it seems that that’s a lot more than Michael Lohan offers his kids. [DListed]

[Photo: Getty Images]

Lindsay Lohan should not bother asking her dad to walk her down the aisle if the person waiting for her at the altar in a tux is Samantha Ronson. Her dad Michael - a noble man of great scruples - just ain’t down with the lady-on-lady love. “I haven’t heard anything (about an upcoming wedding) from Lindsay, but if she was marrying Sam, I don’t think she’d ask me to walk her down the aisle,” says Pops Lohan. “She knows about my (Christian) faith … she just wouldn’t ask.”

Of course, of course. Michael is a spiritual guy who has risen above scandal and scum to lead his perfect, moralistic life by example. Why, just ask his 24-year old girlfriend, Erin (pictured above)! Yep, the 48-year old father of four is busy banging some chick just two years older than Linds, who he loves because she “has a great family and I love her dad”. And his pure, precious girlfriend? She’s passionate about guzzling booze, having once told HollywoodPoker, “I can drink most men under the table.”

Just as long as she doesn’t marry a girl!

[Photo: Splash Online]