Courteney Cox’s Face In Airbrushing Horror

It’s not a good sign when the first thought that enters your head on seeing a magazine cover is, “Oh no! When did Courteney Cox have a stroke?” But in the latest insane example of airbrushing a stunningly beautiful celebrity to look like a bizarre feature-proof alien, that’s what the British issue of Marie Claire makes us think. Either that, or someone made her wear a coat hanger in her mouth during the photoshoot.

Shame, really, as the interview inside the mag is — as promised, for once — a pretty juicy read. Courteney admits she has had Botox, is really worried about the aging and people not finding her attractive as she gets older, plus her plans for trying to have another baby. But still, the only thing we really take away with us is that DAMN STUPID PHOTOSHOPPED MOUTH. Gah.

My, Scarlett Johansson’s having a busy week doling out the threats here, there and everywhere. Firstly, she’s got her knickers in a twist over the current issue of UK Cosmopolitan, claiming they ran quotes about her marriage to Ryan Reynolds that she never said. (To be honest, they’re so anodyne, we wouldn’t give a crap either way. Who cares if you REALLY uttered, “Ryan and I are in love and we’re enjoying our relationship together,” and “We’re like any other couple — we feel so fortunate to be together” as we’ve fallen asleep regardless?) And now she reckons we should all expect a second album from her in the future, after the underwhelming meh- huge success of her Tom Waits cover album earlier this year.

“I would love to do another album. I don’t think I’d do covers, so it’d be a project that I have to dedicate myself to. I feel like that’s something for the future,” she told MTV News.

Apparently, if she did have to do another cover, it would be of Leonard Cohen tracks. But please, Scarlett, please, no “Hallelujah”. Over in the UK, we’re already suffering from Hallelujah-itis, as X-Factor winner Alexandra Burke’s version is set for No. 1 as the fastest download ever. And some smart aleck has also decided to re-release Jeff Buckley’s version too, which is set for the No. 2 slot. We can’t take anymore meaningful, mournful songs. Please! [Photo: Splash News Online]

Tom Cruise went on the Today Show with Matt Lauer this morning for the first time since the two clashed in 2005, when Tom got his panties in a bunch and ranted about the evils of psychology and antidepressants. This time around, the two kissed and made up. Lauer repeatedly lauded Cruise’s 25-year career and Tom gazed humbly at the ground while answering questions. (The result of P.R. coaching, we wonder?) The most noteworthy moment of the interview came when Tom was asked to describe the reaction he received to his Today Show appearance in 2005.

It was, um, er, uh, we think, uh, incoherent, to say the least: Here’s the literal transcription:

Uh. You know I mean it was. And I went back and I looked at it. And I thought, you know. It was … it was interesting. And I think that, yeah, I kind of thought … at first you go how or why? And I thought about it a lot, obviously. And I. It was, uh, a subject matter that’s important and now it’s something that’s being debated in the public and that’s where it should be. But after looking at it I really thought … you know, it’s not what I had intended. I thought … in looking at myself I thought that … uh … I came across, as arrogant.

Bravo, Tom. You got it out.

Here at Scandalist, we’ve touched on the difficult existence of Rock Daughters. Born into fame, wealth and privilege without having done anything themselves to earn those perks, they embark upon half-assed careers, turn up at parties, date boys just like daddy and generally show us all that it’s not particularly helpful for your personal well-being to have an aging rock star as a father. We do feel for them, but mostly, they irritate the hell out of us, especially when they take their kit off on the cover of a magazine for no good reason at all.

Kimberly Stewart, Leah Wood and ARRGGGH Peaches flipping Geldof have now bared all on the front of British society mag Tatler because … well, we don’t actually know. Perhaps to demonstrate they have inherited some attention-seeking talent from their fathers Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood and Bob Geldof? Perhaps because they know without their famous DNA they’d never get within a hair’s breadth of a mag cover and are taking advantage of a lovely airbrushing opportunity? Whatevs. Admire the flashed flesh and then thank your lucky stars you don’t have to do this to feel validated.

What’s a Victoria’s Secret hottie to do when facing ridiculous accusations of being overweight? If you’re Karolina Kurkova, you show off your smokin’ body (and rip off your thong) while splashing around in the water in Cancun, Mexico. Earlier this year, a Brazilian newspaper alleged that the audience at a recent fashion show was “shocked” when the 5′11 model hit the runway with “cellulite on her butt.”

Those poor Brazilians! It must be hard to look at supermodel Karolina up close. Check out our gallery of the leggy supermodel showing off her best assets. Then tell us: Is this a woman who needs to lose weight?

Victoria's Secret hottie Karolina Kurkova sports a bikini in Cancun, Mexico. [Splash News Online]

Victoria's Secret hottie Karolina Kurkova sports a bikini in Cancun, Mexico. [Splash News Online]

Victoria's Secret hottie Karolina Kurkova sports a bikini in Cancun, Mexico. [Splash News Online]

Victoria's Secret hottie Karolina Kurkova sports a bikini in Cancun, Mexico. [Splash News Online]

Victoria's Secret hottie Karolina Kurkova sports a bikini in Cancun, Mexico. [Splash News Online]

Victoria's Secret hottie Karolina Kurkova sports a bikini in Cancun, Mexico. [Splash News Online]

Victoria's Secret hottie Karolina Kurkova sports a bikini in Cancun, Mexico. [Splash News Online]

Victoria's Secret model Karolina Kurkova. [Splash News Online]

Victoria's Secret model Karolina Kurkova. [Splash News Online]

Victoria's Secret model Karolina Kurkova. [Splash News Online]

Victoria's Secret model Karolina Kurkova. [Splash News Online]

Victoria's Secret model Karolina Kurkova. [Splash News Online]

Victoria's Secret model Karolina Kurkova. [Splash News Online]

Victoria's Secret model Karolina Kurkova. [Splash News Online]

Victoria's Secret model Karolina Kurkova. [Splash News Online]

Victoria's Secret model Karolina Kurkova. [Splash News Online]

Victoria's Secret model Karolina Kurkova. [Splash News Online]

Victoria's Secret model Karolina Kurkova. [Splash News Online]

Victoria's Secret model Karolina Kurkova. [Splash News Online]

Victoria's Secret model Karolina Kurkova. [Splash News Online]

We know they’ve been hanging out a bit as Brit bosom buds since Posh moved over to LA last year, but we’re worried Kate Beckinsale might now believe she possesses as much global fascination as the Beckhams. In an interview with British Elle magazine, Kate poses in her knickers to slate the media’s vilification of womens’ figures. While showing off a toned, tanned pair of legs, obvs.

“I’m amazed that people obsess over my body image so much. Why do we encourage this war on women’s bodies? It’s a horrendous way to live, and I refuse to,” she says.

Absolutely, Kate. But we didn’t know we obsessed about your body until you told us just now. Maybe it’s something we forgot to do. Hey, our lives get so busy, it’s easy to let one celebrity body obsession drop without realizing. Sorry. [Source: Daily Mail]

Sexyback! Kate Winslet, serious thespian, has whipped off her clothes to promote a film and make sure she finally lands that Oscar. Hurrah! Actually, Mrs. Sam Mendes looks hot on the cover of the latest Vanity Fair, where she explains how her secret to looking fabulous is makeup, coffee and cigarettes.

“[Some people] will even say to me, ‘O.K., what’s the secret with the skin?’ At which point I’m like, ‘Oh my God, there’s no secret. I have makeup on. And by the way, since I turned 30, I’ve had an acne problem on my chin. I’m just like everybody else — I just know how to cover it,” she tells the magazine.

Kate looks so lovely, we hate to cast aspersions on her glowing perfection, but many outlets speculated that she may have had a little digital help to look so flawless — especially as this is the person who laid into GQ a few years back for ‘excessively retouching‘ her body. Vanity Fair admits to ‘a minimal amount of retouching’ and we say bring it on. Listen, if we could have a personal retoucher to sort out those Facebook photos before they went online, we would. [Photo: Vanity Fair]

Could this be the best new show ever? Conversely, it could be the worst, but we would watch every delicious second anyway. Various media outlets are reporting that Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears are in talks to star in their very own sitcom together. It appears that HBO wants to sign up the superstar threesome as roommates trying to make it big in Hollywood. Very far away from their reality, obvs.

“The chemistry between them will be electric. They were very close and have had their ups and downs in the Los Angeles party world but they have overcome those problems now.They can draw from their experiences for the sitcom,” reports MTV UK.

What would it be called? The Vag Pack? BFFriends? The mind just boggles. To be honest, it seems pretty far fetched but sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction. Do it, ladies! [Photo: WireImage]

It’s all over for the goth dandy at the BBC! After what’s being dubbed “Sachsgate” literally dominated the British headlines for a week — and complaints rose to 27,000 — Russell Brand last night dramatically quit his BBC Radio 2 show. Earlier that day, he and fellow presenter Jonathan Ross (whose $29 million deal with the BBC has come under fire) had been suspended pending further enquiries into the incident. It saw them leave lewd messages on 78-year-old actor Andrew Sachs‘ voicemail after Russell bragged about sleeping with his granddaughter Georgina Baillie, a member of burlesque group the Satanic Sluts

“As I only do the radio show to make people laugh I’ve decided that, given the subsequent coverage, I will stop doing the show,” Brand said in a statement. “I got a bit caught up in the moment and forgot that, at the core of the rude comments and silly songs, were the real feelings of a beloved and brilliant comic actor and a very sweet and big-hearted young woman.”

But don’t feel too sorry for him for nobly falling on his sword. “I’m now off to American to make quite a lot of films,” he said, yesterday. Lock up your granddaughters. [Photo: Getty Images]

He’s made a career out of being an incorrigible man-whore (OK, and funny with it), but Russell Brand is now facing a bad-taste overload after he left obscene messages on an 78-year-old actor’s phone. The VMAs presenter called up legendary Fawlty Towers star Andrew Sachs during his BBC Radio 2 show and left explicit messages on his phone about doing the dirty with his granddaughter Georgina.

“In a minute we’re going to be talking to Andrew Sachs. The elephant in the room is, what Andrew doesn’t know is, I’ve slept with his granddaughter.” Russell said, while fellow presenter Jonathan Ross shouted in the background, “He f**ked your granddaughter.” Not knowing when to shut the hell up, Russell left two more message, in one promising he wore a condom and he did her on a swing. Jonathan added that “he did her over the couch.” Nice.

The BBC is now facing censure for allowing the broadcast to be, er, broadcast, Russell’s made a half-assed apology and all 3287 (approx) girls who slept with Russell are now thanking profusely that their granddads aren’t famous ex-sitcom actors. [source: Daily Mail, Photo: Getty Images]