David Gest Injured Attempting Backflip, Continues To Regret Face

David Gest has made a statement that should be heard around the world, a wake up call to people both young and old: “I was an idiot to have plastic surgery.”

But despite this breakthrough, Gest appears to still be something of an idiot. He’s been forced to postpone a planned tour after attempting a “quadruple backflip” and, presumably, failing painfully. And what the hell was Gest going to tour aside from his oversized ego and freak face, you ask? The man has cobbled together a variety show, named David Gest…My Life, which co-stars David Andre—Mr. Katie Price to you—and Coolio.

Scandalist hopes Coolio realizes the blessing this quadruple backflip was, and gets the hell out of Dodge before this trainwreck kicks off in January. Coolio should not be playing Sammy to Gest’s Dean. Dude made “Fantastic Voyage.” He deserves better.

[Photo: Getty Images]

It’s not like Liza Minnelli had a great reputation before she walked down the aisle with dough-faced David Gest in March 2002. The Oscar-winning daughter of legend (and legendary mess) Judy Garland spent much of the eighties staring at the walls of rehab facilities, to no avail. Liza’s other addiction — husbands — reached a new low when she married David, a concert promoter turned Minnelli manager, best known for his f*cked-up face (courtesy of Michael Jackson’s plastic surgeon) and the rumors swirling around his sexual orientation.

Their wedding was a D-list celebrity clusterf*ck, with Jackson and Elizabeth Taylor serving as the wedding party and the bride allegedly zonked out on pills. During the vows, Gest declared, “You are everything to me and I will love you forever,” before grabbing and kissing her like “a drowning man eating a watermelon” (one guest’s description). The newlyweds dived into a VH1 reality show, but production was halted after just one episode due to Gest being a crazy asshole, canceling shoots and restricting access to Liza. Their 2003 divorce was fuglier than their botched plastic surgeries. David sued his lady love for $10 million, alleging she’d beaten him so badly while drunk that he was hospitalized with nerve damage — and that she’d knowingly given him herpes. What a wedding present! Liza countersued, claiming David was an obsessive cleaner who tried to poison her and stole over $2 million of her cash. The divorce wasn’t settled until 2007.

Gest followed their marital flop with a slew of appearances on UK reality shows, while Minnelli has had a bit more success in the States with appearances on Law & Order and Arrested Development.