Happy Hump Day!

It’s Wednesday, and that means you’ve made it halfway through the work week and halfway to the weekend. Congrats!

This is the kind of weird web video we could watch over and over again, just to enjoy the newscaster’s crazed enthusiasm for a dog that enjoys eating avocados. That’s it. It doesn’t rescue babies, or dig up gold, or even shake its paw. All the dog does is sniff out and eat avocados, yet that is enough to send this dude into meltdown mode. And thankfully, that is enough to keep us entertained - and craving guacamole.  [via Buzzfeed]

If it doesn’t already feel like a Friday to you, these pictures should do the trick. Meet Sandra Hartness, a dog groomer who happily claims that she can turn her pet poodle Cindy into, well, anything. Sandra apparently has the brainwashing skills of Tom Cruise, because Cindy just stands around and lets her owner go to town, turning her into a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, among other horrible creations. And while her designs do look like something you’d find on an airbrushed t-shirt won at the State Fair, we can’t help but admire Sandra’s handiwork. More dog torture below.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

[Photo: Splash News Online]

[Photo: Splash News Online]

[Photo: Splash News Online]

[Photo: Splash News Online]

It’s Wednesday, and that means you’ve made it halfway through the work week and halfway to the weekend. Congrats! Watch the frisky penguins with sound for the full effect of inquisitive, concerned children observing nature in all its glory.

While Jonathan the Tortoise may be one of the world’s oldest living animals, he has the sex drive of a much younger hard-shelled hunk. Though a photo from 1900 proves that Jonathan is now 176 years old, he shows no signs of slowing his lifestyle, even without sight in one eye. According to his keepers at his home on the island of St. Helena, Jonathan is fit as a fiddle and routinely gets busy with the three younger, female tortoises. Not only does he continue to enjoy the ladies, but he adores attention and is a real ham for the camera. In an age of Botox and Viagra, Jonathan is a 100% all-natural stud, and perhaps a source of inspiration for Hugh Hefner.

[Photo: Splash News Online, Source: Daily Mail]

It’s Wednesday, and that means you’ve made it halfway through the work week and halfway to the weekend. Congrats!

Need some cheering up? Meet Sara, the saxophone-playing walrus who is the star of the new Istanbul Dolphinarium’s aquatic show. Next to the massive beast is her conductor/trainer Sergiy. So whose brains are bigger - the animal who can jam out some jazz, or the human who taught her to play? [Photo: Splash News Online]

Ok, that’s not totally fair. Animal activists like Bob Barker and Halle Berry may be fighting the planned six-acre “Pachyderm Forest” expansion at the Los Angeles Zoo, but it’s not because they want the beasts to stay in a cage—they want them out of the zoo entirely.

Seems elephants have a tendency to die young when they’re locked up, and despite the accolades the LA Zoo is getting from zoological institutions, some feel that all the artificial waterfalls and mudholes in the world won’t keep Billy, the zoo’s last remaining elephant, from feeling cramped. “It’s a lot of elephants’ deaths, and it points to something really wrong going on there,” Melya Kaplan of Voice Of The Animals told the Chicago Sun-Times. “We can’t ignore that.”

Even without taking angry celebs like Goldie Hawn into consideration, the $42 million bill may be too much for the local budget. If the planned City Council vote today brings the project to a close, debates over whether Billy bobs his head because he’s stressed or because he wants food will be entirely irrelephant (yes, we went there).

[Photos: WireImage/Getty]

It’s cold outside. There’s an economic crisis tormenting Wall Street. Real Housewives of Atlanta has ended. We’re all sorts of down in the dumps today, and the only thing that can make it better is this picture of Britain’s tiniest horse, “Little Lucy.” She’s four years old, 19.5 inches tall, and cuter than Shiloh Jolie-Pitt. Jennifer Aniston should adopt her and make us all jealous. [Photo: Splash News Online]

It’s Wednesday, and that means you’ve made it halfway through the work week and halfway to the weekend. Congrats!