10 Rolling Stone Cover Models John Mayer Needs To Bang

Jennifer Love Hewitt, Cameron Diaz, Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston. Looks like John Mayer has a type: Rolling Stone cover models. One can easily imagine a young Mayer reading the magazine in his bathroom, dreaming of rock stardom and whacking off to Wenner’s angels. “Someday, when I’m famous, I’m totally gonna nail her! Oooooh! *skin flute solo*” Assuming he’s been crossing names off a “to-do” list, here’s ten wonderlands Mayer could use his hands on next.

Winona Ryder. Every guitarist's rite of passage.

Sarah Michelle Gellar has to be looking for someone to take her away from Freddie "always wanted to write for the WWE" Prinze, Jr.

Anyone hip enough to date Devendra Banhart will be a challenge for John, but if Dev ever cheats on Natalie Portman, Mayer McCheese is the perfect revenge f*ck.

Mariah Carey is all about fake-ass photo-op relationships! Just ask Nick Cannon!

If John hasn't already.

Drew Barrymore likes tall comedians and guys in bands. John's both!

Nicole Kidman dated Lenny Kravitz after Tom, so John's got some precedent when Katie Holmes escapes the clutch of Cruise.

John has tattoos. Asia Argento has tattoos. Maybe John could get a matching angel on his crotch.

We'd love to hear an Alanis Morissette album named Bluesician Jerkface Maladies

Which Hills star, John? Hell, you might be able to get them all at once.