Citizen Scandal: Teenage Girls Flash, Fondle And Mug A Dude

You’d think a 40-year-old bus driver would be grateful for physical attention of teenage girls, but you’d be wrong. “One blonde lifted her top to attract my attention and then fondled me in front of everyone. While another girl kissed me she went round the back and took my wallet from my pocket. This was organized stuff. They boasted that they do it to a lot of people.” We know what you’re asking: where is this sexy crime wave happening and how can I get there?

Don’t get your hopes up, pervs. The alleged “assault” of Richard Stones occured in Batley, a town in West Yorkshire, England. “I don’t come to Batley much as it’s not my scene, but a mate lives in the town and it’s local for him,” said Stones. “I certainly won’t be going to Batley again after what happened. Two of the girls told me it is organized. They want cash to fund their binge drinking.”

While previous victims must have been too embarassed to come forward, the divorced Stones (who lost £30) isn’t afraid to blow the whistle on these hussies. “You don’t expect this sort of thing when you go out. I should have realized what they were after. People need to watch out. I fell into the trap. This is the first time anything like this has happened to me and I want others to be aware.” If you’re robbed by a disingenuous flasher, be sure to let Scandalist know.  [Mirfield Reporter]