Citizen Scandal: Man Calls 911 On Subway For Sauceless Sandwich

Can you blame a guy for getting mad when a Subway sandwich artist forgets to include the sauce on his Spicy Italian sub? They’re supposed to be artists! And can you blame a guy for calling 911 when they don’t fix his sub promptly? Wasting his time is a crime! And can you blame a guy for calling 911 a second time when no one shows up? This is a serious emergency! And finally, can you blame Subway employees for locking the man out as soon as he leaves? He’s obviously a f*cking lunatic!

When Jacksonville police finally arrived to explain to Reginald Peterson that slack sandwich artistry fails to qualify as an “emergency” in most circles, the 42-year-old man failed to regain composure and was arrested for making false 911 calls. Flavor Flav was wrong: 911 ain’t no joke. [AP]